The Fifth Year Series: About Last Friday, Hotch/Reid & Rossi/Prentiss, PG

[innerslytherin]

Title: About Last Friday
Pairings: Hotch/Reid, Rossi/Prentiss
Rating: PG
WC: 1759
Summary: After Foyet.
Notes: Thanks to resolucidity for a quick beta. SPOILERS for "100".

Series: This is part of a series of Season Five episode tags I've been writing.
1. Not So Alone
2. Weeping Endures for a Night
3. The Blink of an Eye
4. Trust and Regret
5. Something Pretty Wonderful
6. Hope and Bourbon
7. Shaking Things Up
8. Cementing
9. Life Goes On
10. Reeling




Silence was frightening.

On the first night after he killed Foyet, Aaron let Jack sleep with him. He turned the radio on and wondered what was going through his little boy's mind. He didn't sleep, but he kept rousing from a sort of fugue state and realizing he had been remembering. He didn't want to remember, but he didn't know what else to think about. So he smoothed his fingers down Jack's hair and stared at the ceiling.

He was a monster. He had become, after forty-three years, the one thing he feared most. He had turned into his father.

When Jack woke, crying, and turned to Aaron for comfort, Aaron almost pulled away. What comfort could he give his son? It was his fault Jack's mother was dead. But he'd been unable to deny him, so he wrapped his arms around Jack and hated himself.

***

Dave had never seen Emily cry like this. She'd leaned against him for comfort at first, but when she'd realized that her grief--painful, almost violent--was heightening Dave's tears, she'd pulled away and run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Dave had wanted to comfort her, but he'd been relieved too.

He'd known Aaron long enough to have seen his friend experience every emotion in a man's life. But he'd never seen Aaron broken and despairing as he had been when the team arrived too late.

Too Goddamned late.

Dave let out a shaky breath and leaned his face in his hand. Aaron was a good man, and Dave was glad that Haley had sounded forgiving at the end. But it should never have taken that. The divorce had been bad enough, but Dave knew Aaron could heal from that. Foyet was horrible, but Dave had believed they would win.

This...he couldn't call a win.

He let out a couple more wracking sobs, then sucked in a breath and held it until he felt light-headed. Emily idolized Aaron, and from what Dave could tell, she had idolized Aaron's family. She hadn't approved of Haley leaving, but she'd at least been kind to her. Whatever Emily was going through, Dave needed to be with her.

He got to the bathroom just in time to hear the ugly wet coughs of his fiancee making herself sick from crying. Dave opened the door and sank to his knees next to her, wrapping his arms around her.

***

On the second night after he killed Foyet, Aaron couldn't make himself get in bed. He sat on the edge next to Jack, who was tucked in tight between two pillows. He stroked his son's hair and back and promised him that Daddy would love him forever. He promised that no matter what, they would always have each other.

In the middle of the night, Jack woke up screaming for mommy. Aaron was sitting in a chair, half a bottle of whiskey in him, and he couldn't make himself go to his son. He sat upright, paralyzed as if he had a spear through his chest, pinning him to the chair.

After several minutes of Jack's cries, JJ came in, tousled and unhappy, from the guest bedroom. She wrapped her arms around Jack and held him, crooning wordless songs.

Aaron buried his face in his hands and somehow managed to keep from throwing up.

***

"They have to investigate," Emily said. Her voice was wooden as she stared out the window of Dave's office to the bullpen. She was good at compartmentalizing, but Dave wasn't sure how much more of this she could manage before she broke into pieces. For that matter, he wasn't sure how much more he could see before he broke.

"Erin Strauss is on our side," he told her. His voice was rough. It had been for two days. He was drinking too much, and for two nights now he'd left the bed once Emily was finally asleep. He'd gone to the back patio and stared at the stars and selfishly begged God to keep Emily safe. He'd thrown in prayers for his best friend, but he knew he was mostly terrified that he might lose this one precious woman who had given him so much joy.

"She's a bitch," Emily said.

"She wants you to think that," Dave said. "And she wants them to think that. If the Assistant Director believes the team doesn't trust her, then he'll also believe that she has no reason to protect the team."

"Since when are you the logical one?" she muttered. "I thought I was better at politics than you."

"You're shit at politics, and you know it," he said. He cleared his throat. "It's one of many things I love about you. You managed to grow up with it and still somehow keep clear. Erin was in on this from the moment Hotch stepped down in favor of Morgan. She knew his plan. She chose to have faith in him--in us. In this team. Erin Strauss' ass is on the line here too. I know she didn't do right by you at first, but even bureaucrats can occasionally be taught."

Emily let out a muffled laugh and shook her head. "You're such a bastard."

"It's why you love me." He sort of wished they hadn't emptied the bottle of Eagle Rare that night they got Aaron semi-drunk and sent him home with Spencer.

"He needs help," she murmured. "We're all trying to be strong for him, but I don't know if any of us are strong enough."

Dave nodded. "Together we are." He was well aware of the irony inherent in him placing all his faith in the team. But old dogs could be taught new tricks sometimes, too. "You need to get Spencer to go to him."

Emily pressed her lips together, but she nodded. As she headed back out to the bullpen, her fingers clasped gently around his for a moment. Then she was gone.

***

Spencer wasn't sure how he'd ended up sitting in the round-table room with Jack. He barely knew Jack, and he'd never been good with children. But Jack was a quiet boy, well-behaved and withdrawn, and Spencer's chest ached when he looked at him.

He knew.

Maybe his mother hadn't been ripped away from him through violence, but the slow, insidious slipping away had taken her from him all the same. He had grown up with an absent father who was nothing like Aaron and a mentally ill mother who was nothing like Haley, but he still knew.

Jack ought to be protected. And Aaron and Haley had done that. They were Jack's parents. Haley had made the ultimate sacrifice for her son.

Spencer couldn't abandon the man he loved in his time of need, but he also couldn't quite bring himself to get as close as he wanted. He couldn't see himself as worthy of that closeness. Not in the face of Haley's death.

So he did what he could.

He asked JJ and Garcia to stay with Aaron and Jack in their temporary home. He stood up to Strauss and exaggerated the power of his memory. He didn't blink once in the face of her questions. He never hesitated in defending Aaron and the choices he had made...and he had never questioned himself. Aaron had done everything right.

"Hey."

He looked up, though Jack kept his gaze on the toy dinosaurs on the table.

Emily came in, gave him a thin-lipped smile, and sat next to him. "How's your knee?"

Spencer just nodded. He and Aaron had been growing more adventurous physically lately, since he graduated to the cane. That was something else he thought should be put on hold. If their relationship wasn't ended entirely by Aaron's loss of his ex-wife.

"You don't have to talk," Emily said. "Just be with him. Don't make him go through this alone."

Two of Jack's dinosaurs were fighting. Spencer's stomach jumped and he wondered how much of the struggle in his home Jack had understood. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"You are strong enough, Spencer," she said quietly. "I can't imagine what it feels like. I only know how I feel, which is powerless and sad." Her voice quavered slightly, then she regained control. He had always envied Emily her control. "She was his past," Emily said finally. She was breathing hard. "But you are his future."

Spencer couldn't swallow. He looked down at the table. When the cane fell from his hands, Jack looked up. Then little boy steps approached and two small hands were resting on his thigh.

"Why're you sad, Spesser?"

Spencer shook his head and lifted a hand to smooth over Jack's hair.

Emily cleared her throat and leaned in. "Everybody's a little sad right now, Jack," she said quietly. "It's okay to be sad. And it's okay to not be sad sometimes." She reached out a hand to him and Jack patted Spencer's thigh, then went to her.

Spencer shuddered and tried not to let the tears escape.

Emily lifted Jack to her lap and kissed his hair. "Right now is a sad time for Spencer. Can I see your dinosaurs?"

Jack still clutched a bright orange brontosaurus in his right hand. He held it up to Emily's face so quickly he hit her nose. It startled a laugh from Spencer, and then Emily laughed too, though she rubbed her nose when she didn't think Jack would notice.

After a while JJ came in with snacks, and then Dave brought a glass of water in. Garcia and Morgan drifted in a little later, and Spencer realized Aaron must be with Strauss.

When Aaron came in, everyone stood. It felt automatic, a sign of respect. Jack ran to his father, and Aaron's embrace looked desperate. But the team was together, and when Spencer glanced around, he could tell that the team would stay together.

***

On the third night after he killed Foyet, Aaron climbed in bed with his son, putting pillows on Jack's other side and tucking him in tight. In a chair next to the bed, Spencer had a book in his hands, and a glass of water on the nightstand. Spencer licked his lips, cleared his throat, and glanced self-consciously at Aaron. But Aaron's eyes were closed, and Spencer thought maybe he needed this as much as Jack.

So Spencer read.

'Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, about last Friday, Winnie-the-Pooh lived in a forest all by himself under the name of Sanders.'

Comments

[triciabyrne1978.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm still saying OMG when I think of the episode.

THIS, this just gives me another OMG.

It's perfect. Angsty and wonderful and so encompassing of all of the emotions.

[innerslytherin]

I'm still saying OMG when I think of the episode.

Me too!

Thanks. This was hard to write.

[xtinethepirate.livejournal.com]

*CLUTCHES HEART* GAH.

A heartwrenching coda to a nerve-wracking episode. I love the repetition of how many nights it's been since Hotch killed Foyet, too. Also, examining the rationale behind Strauss's switch from hardass in front of the team to closing with Hotch was a nice touch. :)

(Have to say, though it might not be fair to her, I'm still a little frustrated that Haley didn't try to defend herself, especially with Jack in the house. :/ Just me?)

[emzbuckley.livejournal.com]

Maybe she was hoping that if she got killed, Hotch would get there quick enough to stop Foyet killing Jack. And also, fear can paralyse you so you can't move. The only other option i could think of was, apart from the gun shots, she didn't want jack to hear her die and if you fight it makes a hell of a lot of noise and it would be traumatic enough for jack. I have no idea. But she in a lot of ways fight for her son and gave him a chance of survival and he is still here so she did succeed in a lot of ways.

As for Strauss, to be honest, she had no grounds to continue on or try and take it somewhere because no court or jury would convict him of anything because he was defending his child and you would kill for your own child, which he did. And the way it was told and how bad he looked, its heartbreaking. I also think, she didn't have the full facts at the beginning with the team and as the same story came out in exactly the same mannor, she knew they weren't lying or trying to hide something and i think Hotch was the finale nail for it.

It was a brilliant episode and so so sad, not good when you have a server eye infection, i am paying for it but so worth it. The acting was amazing and so was the writing. And the odd Hotch/Reid bits were great too.

Love the fic, it fits the aftermath wonderfully. You have got grief down, with the reactions. I went through an unexpected death earlier this year, not in the same way though but a lot of what Hotch, Reid and the team are going through i can relate to completely. You got Reid's reaction right, it is very hard to know what to say or what to do when someone is going through it as well as your own emotions and you and the show both got it right with not knowing what to say because in times like this, nothing you say makes it better.

[xtinethepirate.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of the paralysis of fear as well at first, but it seemed to me (and this is likely the source of my frustration) that while that would make sense if it was ONLY her there, the instinct to protect her son for as long as possible -- to ensure Hotch would get there -- would make her fight back and attempt to prolong Foyet's altercation with her.

I did like her in this episode, and I do think she was brave under the circumstances. I think that's why her inaction at the end struck a wrong note with me --- she was not disillusioned as to the fact that Foyet planned to kill her AND Jack AND Hotch, so she couldn't lose anything by fighting, imho (except that it might have been harder for Hotch to hear -- but losing her would be hard for him either way.)

I didn't expect to be so sad that she's gone, I have to say! But what's going to happen now? How is Hotch going to stay on the team AND take care of Jack? *flaps hands*

[emzbuckley.livejournal.com]

I think it is hard to know what you would do in that kind of situation really. I mean you always think oh i would do this and that but you never know. But maybe by letting him kill her, she was protecting Jack because he was too wrapped up in moving her and stuff to go and find Jack. I don't know. She might of thought that fighting was pointless, its hard to know really.

As for Hotch, well, he is still there because TG has just done regis & kelly and the show was filming so, hotch is still there because they are a head in filming but its what role hotch decides to take. I mean he has got to work but his life now has to change and not be so wrapped up in it because jack has no one. I am sure he has people to help out. Its just what he decides to do, either going back to being unit chief or stay as a normal agent, maybe split the role with morgan so he doesn;t have to be there all the time. A lot of single parents have to do it, i am sure he can too. Its going to be an interesting transformation of him though.

[innerslytherin]

Yeah, this episode raised my blood pressure! I'm glad you liked this.

I hadn't thought that about Haley, though now that you point it out, it makes sense. I would think she would try to fight as long as she could to give Hotch more time to get there. But it's so hard to say...she never expected to have a serial killer in her house, and to be paralyzed by fear...

I don't know.

[bowie28.livejournal.com]

My heart still aches for all of them. I just know the guilt over Haley's death is never going away. Ow, my heart.

Thank you for this. Like I said in the previous part, I cherish every Hotch/Reid fics I can get right now, and this is precious.

&hearts

[innerslytherin]

Yeah, Hotch is going to have a rough time dealing with this. :( I'm glad you liked this.

[mingsmommy.livejournal.com]

Gah.

The episode just killed me and you just killed me again.

It's heartbreaking and yet, you gave them some hope. Beautifully done.

[innerslytherin]

*hug* This episode was heart-wrenching, wasn't it? I'm glad you liked this.

[microgirl8225.livejournal.com]

Beautiful, beautiful piece.

I can see Hotch struggling to be there for his son when he feels so guilty. And you nailed Rossi's guilt over praying for Emily's safety when he feels he should be thinking about Hotch. And the scene with the two of them crying together broke my heart. I definitely think they would have a hard time being there for each other.

And the scene with Spencer reading to Hotch and Jack brought a tear to my eye. Great book choice.

Thank you for sharing this great story.

[innerslytherin]

Thanks. I'm glad this worked for you. It was really difficult to write, just as the episode was difficult to watch. But the episode was so good, I hope the tag lived up to it. :)

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes. We all need this right now.

[innerslytherin]

*hugs*

[smacky30.livejournal.com]

I can honestly say this episode was one of the most emotionally wrenching I've ever seen. Strauss made me want to choke her. And Hotch broke my heart. I can only imagine the depth of his pain and his guilt.

I've been checking for this all day and I'm so glad you decided to go ahead and post today. It's just wonderful - great explanation for that end scene. Thanks for sharing.

[innerslytherin]

Strauss was hard, but I think she's been in a hard position...I actually kind of like her. :/

I'm glad this worked for you.

[smacky30.livejournal.com]

I think I have a thing for Strauss from when she was trying to use Emily. But I do agree she was in a bad position. And I think she did the right thing in the end. :D

[innerslytherin]

Don't get me wrong, I HATE what she did to Hotch & Emily at the end of Season 2. But at the same time, I like that she learned from her experience out with the team, and she realized that the team really is a family that functions well together. And I like that she came back to Hotch's defense at the end of this episode. So it makes me wonder about her motivations. :)

[jomk.livejournal.com]

Lovely. Thank you, not just for this but for the whole series. Just gorgeous.

You know, I was thinking last night about Hotch's state after Haley's death. I lost my husband recently from cancer, and I had/have so much guilt over things done and undone. I can hardly conceive of his guilt, knowing what he knows. It will change his DNA.

[innerslytherin]

Thanks.

I'm sorry to hear about your husband. It's incredible the guilt we carry after losing someone, isn't it? Even when we know that person would want us to forgive ourselves. I hope Hotch can do that. And I hope you can too. *hug*

[merisunshine36.livejournal.com]

An excellent coda to an excellent episode (which stuck in my head so much that part of it floated back into my brainscape while I was editing a paper this morning, and I was frozen for a good three minutes while reliving it in my head).

I love how Rossi understood Strauss' politics--I hadn't even thought of at that way! Of course, I suck at politics too :( I wish that Aaron really did have Spencer to lean on like this! And the image of Aaron putting pillows on either side of Jack was a tiny but precious detail.

[innerslytherin]

I'm glad you liked this. The episode keeps coming back to me, yes. It's so incredibly hard. I think taking care of Jack is easier for Aaron to do than taking care of himself.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_touched/]

Okay, now this just isn't fair at all. I need to alert the media that you do not play fair in the least. Because, this following this Weds episode has absolutely managed to re-break my heart that I haven't even begun to glue back together again. It's crazy, but really this was just beautifully written and you hit all of the high points very well. This is why I am a faithful believer in your canon of the show. :)

[innerslytherin]

I'm...sorry? ;) I'm glad you liked this though. :D

[http://users.livejournal.com/_touched/]

rotfl. No, no...don't apologize. You broke it in such a good way, promise. *g* And, I just managed to do more damage, I just fijhished writing meta slash thoughts on the episode it self and am getting ready to post it in my journal.

But, yes...this was beautiful. :)

[innerslytherin]

Uy. I won't be writing an episode reaction post this week. I can't do it. Right now the thought of watching it again to do so just makes me quiver inside. Of course, severity_softly and I are working on an episode tag as well, so that doesn't help. :/

[http://users.livejournal.com/_touched/]

I just finished posting up my thoughts on the episode, it was sort of meta meets my sometimes coherent and sometimes incoherent thoughts. It was hard to get through and my eyes touched with tears when I read it back to myself. So, I totally get not being able to. I actually watched the episode twice that night, maschoist much? lol. And, I kinda can and can't wait to see what you are she are writing. :)

[innerslytherin]

Heh, yeah, I watched it twice too, because I needed to get some stuff stuck in my head properly before writing the "Fifth Year" series coda.

If you want insider information, it's Hotch/Rossi, set in the same universe as Expansion of Two Natures. And making us both wibbly. :/

[http://users.livejournal.com/_touched/]

I can totally see how you would watch it a second time, especially if you're needing to get certain things right for your fics that you're writing and the coda's.

OMG! I feel so privledged to have insider info shared with me. lol. And, Hotch/Rossi is definitely a pleasure that I delight in. I've read, "Expansion of Two Natures" and I absolutely loved it. So, the fact that this is set in that universe...yes, thank you for doing this. I cannot wait until you post the first part. :)

[jujuberry136.livejournal.com]

Winne the Pooh? Good choice Spencer.

[innerslytherin]

It just seemed right. :)

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

And I thought I had finally managed to stop crying about this episode. ;0

An amazing companion to a brilliant, heartwrenching episode. These events are going to impact everyone on the team and the emotional repercussions will be long-lasting. But Hotch isn't alone.

Winnie the Pooh was a perfect, gentle touch.

[innerslytherin]

*hugs* I'm glad you liked this. The episode was really difficult, and my heart just aches for Hotch. But I trust that the team will get him through it.

[lilybertha.livejournal.com]

5x09 was a brilliant milestone episode, in this wonderful TV series, I went through so many emotions. This episode tag is a perfect read after that.

[innerslytherin]

It really was a great episode, wasn't it? Oh, the tears! I'm glad the tag worked for you. :)

[earths-fury.livejournal.com]

This, this was is so powerful. I_ words can't explain haw moved I feel when I read this. It's a perfect interpretation of the episode. Pefect. You understood Aaron's pain, and you formed that pain, his despiar, shock and anger in to a piece of fiction that moved me near to tears. Wow. Thank you you have given me a bit of absolution, a bit of peace for me to wait until the next episode.

[innerslytherin]

Thanks. *hugs* This episode was so incredibly difficult and gut-wrenching. Wonderful, of course, but terrible too. I'm glad you felt like this tag did justice to the episode. :)

[resolucidity.livejournal.com]

You already know how much I love this. And it is fabulous...but I just had to show off the icon that slash_girl shared with me!

[innerslytherin]

:D That is a lovely icon. I have a slightly different shot in the ones I made from the ep. *G*

*hugs* Thanks as always for the beta, dear.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nextboldmove_/]

You NAILED Strauss! I always hated her, but in this episode I found myself realizing that she’s really not such a bad person, she’s just doing a job that puts her in a tough spot. Anyway, I adored how Emily is so supportive of Spencer in this chapter. Thanks as always for your brilliant codas!

[innerslytherin]

Thanks! Honestly, I hated her for what she did to Emily... but then I also loved watching her in the field, how she was a bitch, but also human, and how she slowly came to realize in that episode that she couldn't do what this team does.

So my theory from that moment had been that she had taken a hands-off approach to them from the moment she told Aaron he would never have her job and he replied that he didn't want it. That said, I was disappointed at first with the way she was treating him during the Foyet case...until Aaron revealed that he'd stepped down to make himself look weak. He played that so close to his chest, even Morgan was surprised...but I could see Strauss being a part of that, especially with the way she was at the end. Her words to Aaron when she was trying to reassure him that Haley didn't suffer... She is a bureaucrat and ambitious, but she's also human, and I thought Jayne Atkinson played that perfectly.

Anyway, long comment. LOL But thanks, I'm glad you liked this, and I'm glad you got what I was doing with Strauss. :)

[phlogistics.livejournal.com]

This has helped to make a terribly depressing episode feel- resolved, in a way. A feeling that will probably be destroyed when the next episode airs, but still. Excellent fic!

[innerslytherin]

I'm glad it helped. It definitely helped me to write it. :)

[cat-lover-4113.livejournal.com]

"Which means, he had the name over the door in gold letters, and he lived under it."

I love reading the Winnie-The-Pooh stories. My brother was really into it and we still sing along to the song. Love these stories, and am glad to see Spencer and Hotch together, it's my favourite pairing :)

[innerslytherin]

Thanks! I've been meaning to go back and reread, because it's been ages. I love that song too! I'm glad you liked this. :)

[citymusings.livejournal.com]

I like your take on Strauss' position. I'm far from her biggest fan, but your point is a good one.

I love seeing Hotch with Jack. He's a good man.

[innerslytherin]

I'm not a fan, but I also think she pretty much knows where Aaron stands now, so she's not too worried about him taking her job. Knowing that, it seems more practical for her to keep Mr. Nonambitious in place than have him replaced with an unknown quantity. *G*

Hotch & Jack make my ovaries explode, and I don't even want to have kids. *G*

[citymusings.livejournal.com]

Whatever her reasoning, it works for me.

LOL.