escape yourself and gravity

Yesterday was a good day. I validated my NaNoWriMo novel and I received a debit card in the mail from the state of Indiana, with a blissful amount of money (compared to the $20 I had left, anyway). I can buy cat food and pay bills now.

Today I found out the unethical asshats at my former employer Sysco Foodservices have appealed the decision the state made in my favor. I should not be surprised, but I confess, I thought they would prefer to pay the unemployment rather than face a lawsuit or a formal charge of violating FMLA. Unfortunately they seem to think their moral gray area will win, and in the world of big business and money running things, I suppose it will.

I'm planning to spend the unemployment cash I already have as quickly as possible. If nothing else, I'd rather have the state collections people calling me rather than three credit cards and two medical places. It has to mean fewer annoying phone calls, right?

*sigh*

Anyway. I have a telephone hearing on December 13, and wow, way to prolong this even further, powers that be. I have no idea how to handle that. The instructions from the state are barely helpful, and I'm not even sure what information I need to provide the judge.

I'm so overwhelmed at the moment. I spent nearly four years working for a company that mistreats people as a matter of policy. I spent the last four months of that time suffering from debilitating migraines and crippling depression related to both the migraines and the toxic work situation. Migraines that STOPPED ENTIRELY when I left that job. I have run through my bank account and am probably going to have to cash out my meager 401(k) to continue paying bills. I can't find a job. I can't bear the thought of going back to seasonal retail. And on top of everything, I'm sure my dad won't react well to this news, which will make his work situation worse. I have a heart full of vile things I want to say to Connie, who claimed to be my friend but proved herself not to be.

I am currently modeling my prayers after those of David, persecuted in the wilderness, who said, "O God, do not be far from me; O my God, hasten to my help! Let those who are adversaries of my soul be ashamed and consumed; Let them be covered with reproach and dishonor, who seek to injure me. But as for me, I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more." (Psalm 71:12-14).

And honestly, right now those prayers aren't doing much for my emotional or mental state. I just want to immerse myself in Warcraft all afternoon and not think about anything.

Happy fucking birthday to me.

Wow, the head of HR at my company has reached new lows in classiness. At 9 am ON MY BIRTHDAY he called me to his office and told me they're downgrading my job to part-time. Why? Well, because I've missed so much time this year, and yet the quality of my work hasn't suffered at all. In other words, "You're so efficient, we're demoting you. Congratulations, you're losing your benefits."

And he seriously expects me to work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday? Hell fucking no. That's a non-negotiable point. I'll be working three consecutive days if they want me to stay. And that's only IF the Department of Labor tells me that it actually is legal for them to make a full-time benefitted position part-time non-benefitted while the incumbent is on FMLA. I suspect it's a legal gray area, since it might not technically be considered a demotion or punishment, even though in practice, it is.

I'd put the job search on hold while my boss' mother was dying, too. She was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer this summer and only died two weeks ago, and I thought it would be shitty of me to leave while C was dealing with that. Didn't stop C from being in talks with HR and the VP of Finance about all this though, obviously. Bitch.

So now I have to try to figure out what I'm good at and what I really want to do, and I have to do it in a hurry, because I only have benefits through the end of October, and the neurologist still hasn't gotten my migraine meds cocktail right, and I really wanted to ask my primary care physician for a new antidepressant. Though being away from SFS might take some of the pressure off the Zoloft, I guess. :P


I want a job where I can telecommute at least part of the time, wear jeans to work every day, do a lot of research, not talk on the phone much, and travel. With benefits. Anyone know of a job like that? :P

Sunday night blues strike again, so I am refusing to let them take over.




I will remember this this week and not let things overwhelm me.

Dear coworker,

Before you forward to me an email from Corporate and tell me to make corrections so you can issue credits, it would be a good idea for you to check your email. We made corrections Wednesday when we got the email from Corporate, and we already issued and emailed you the credits yesterday. And when I forward you the email, don't complain that the credits aren't attached, because guess what? We sent them to you yesterday! You should still have them!

Even better was the third email you sent me about an unrelated credit that needed to be issued. Guess what? That started back on 7 December, and we issued the credits on 10 December and sent them to you then. Since they were for your customer, not ours, I don't know why you didn't feel that it was in your best interest to, maybe, keep a copy of them in your email folder? But that is your problem and not mine. It annoys me when you copy the VP of Sales on the email, trying to make me look bad when I've already taken care of this issue a month and a half ago.

In case you're wondering, that's why I hit reply all when I informed you that if you had checked your email you would see that both of those issues were taken care of. Because I want the VP of Sales to realize that you're the dummy who doesn't read his email or do his own research.

Not much love at the moment,

Contract Compliance

...or at least take delight in reading entries about them that make you say, "Thank God I don't work with those people..."

One of the AP ladies just called two people, then walked all around the office asking why she smelled maple syrup. She kept going on about how cyanide smells like almonds, but is there anything that smells like maple syrup?

Finally the AR lady said that it was probably her maple-and-brown-sugar oatmeal.

Just think of all the AP lady could have accomplished in the way of paying our vendors if she'd focused that attention elsewhere. LOL

Now the AP women are talking about how they're all working until 6 or 7 each evening, when most of us get off at 4:30 or 5, depending on when we come in. I want to ask them if they are all lacking in logic skills or what. Because honestly? If you spend a good 2 - 3 hours every day just talking, you cannot reasonably expect to get your work done!

I also am considering that it might be time for another complaint to management, because these women just shouldn't be making overtime rates when they're making themselves have to work overtime.

The women in AP are currently discussing, in depth, their pencil-sharpening habits, whether electric or hand-crank sharpeners are better, and why they don't use mechanical.

I just...

I guess it's better than listening to them discussing how great Palin and Rush are.

Dear mindless sheep (aka coworkers),

Sticking your windshield wipers in the air after parking your car doesn't really make a lick of difference. I've never bothered doing it because, guess what? I have a defroster in my car. Start the car, put the defroster up to high, clean the car off, and by the time you're ready to leave the parking lot, your windshield wipers won't be stuck.

You are all stupid and I hate you all,

Me

Dear co-workers:

Guess what?! You live in INDIANA! It's WINTER! SOMETIMES IT SNOWS!

Get the fuck over it already, quit shouting, and let some of us get on with the work we drove through that shit to do. We don't care how long it took you to get here. We don't care if your kid doesn't have school. We don't care that you were the FIRST PERSON HERE (except that it shows you have no life, since you live 20 minutes from here and allowed yourself 2 HOURS to get here, you dumbass).

No love,

The person who drove WAY FURTHER than you did but feels no need to go on at length about it

Boooooooooored. I have a lot of work to do, but my coworkers are talking at the top of their lungs and handing out presents and singing and crap, and frankly it's hard enough to concentrate on my work on the best of days, let alone with all these distractions.

They did put out cinnamon rolls for us to eat, which is nice. But really. I'm bored. I want to go home.