innerslytherin: (2cm - no words)
[personal profile] innerslytherin
Title: About Last Friday
Pairings: Hotch/Reid, Rossi/Prentiss
Rating: PG
WC: 1759
Summary: After Foyet.
Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] resolucidity for a quick beta. SPOILERS for "100".

Series: This is part of a series of Season Five episode tags I've been writing.
1. Not So Alone
2. Weeping Endures for a Night
3. The Blink of an Eye
4. Trust and Regret
5. Something Pretty Wonderful
6. Hope and Bourbon
7. Shaking Things Up
8. Cementing
9. Life Goes On
10. Reeling




Silence was frightening.

On the first night after he killed Foyet, Aaron let Jack sleep with him. He turned the radio on and wondered what was going through his little boy's mind. He didn't sleep, but he kept rousing from a sort of fugue state and realizing he had been remembering. He didn't want to remember, but he didn't know what else to think about. So he smoothed his fingers down Jack's hair and stared at the ceiling.

He was a monster. He had become, after forty-three years, the one thing he feared most. He had turned into his father.

When Jack woke, crying, and turned to Aaron for comfort, Aaron almost pulled away. What comfort could he give his son? It was his fault Jack's mother was dead. But he'd been unable to deny him, so he wrapped his arms around Jack and hated himself.

***

Dave had never seen Emily cry like this. She'd leaned against him for comfort at first, but when she'd realized that her grief--painful, almost violent--was heightening Dave's tears, she'd pulled away and run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Dave had wanted to comfort her, but he'd been relieved too.

He'd known Aaron long enough to have seen his friend experience every emotion in a man's life. But he'd never seen Aaron broken and despairing as he had been when the team arrived too late.

Too Goddamned late.

Dave let out a shaky breath and leaned his face in his hand. Aaron was a good man, and Dave was glad that Haley had sounded forgiving at the end. But it should never have taken that. The divorce had been bad enough, but Dave knew Aaron could heal from that. Foyet was horrible, but Dave had believed they would win.

This...he couldn't call a win.

He let out a couple more wracking sobs, then sucked in a breath and held it until he felt light-headed. Emily idolized Aaron, and from what Dave could tell, she had idolized Aaron's family. She hadn't approved of Haley leaving, but she'd at least been kind to her. Whatever Emily was going through, Dave needed to be with her.

He got to the bathroom just in time to hear the ugly wet coughs of his fiancee making herself sick from crying. Dave opened the door and sank to his knees next to her, wrapping his arms around her.

***

On the second night after he killed Foyet, Aaron couldn't make himself get in bed. He sat on the edge next to Jack, who was tucked in tight between two pillows. He stroked his son's hair and back and promised him that Daddy would love him forever. He promised that no matter what, they would always have each other.

In the middle of the night, Jack woke up screaming for mommy. Aaron was sitting in a chair, half a bottle of whiskey in him, and he couldn't make himself go to his son. He sat upright, paralyzed as if he had a spear through his chest, pinning him to the chair.

After several minutes of Jack's cries, JJ came in, tousled and unhappy, from the guest bedroom. She wrapped her arms around Jack and held him, crooning wordless songs.

Aaron buried his face in his hands and somehow managed to keep from throwing up.

***

"They have to investigate," Emily said. Her voice was wooden as she stared out the window of Dave's office to the bullpen. She was good at compartmentalizing, but Dave wasn't sure how much more of this she could manage before she broke into pieces. For that matter, he wasn't sure how much more he could see before he broke.

"Erin Strauss is on our side," he told her. His voice was rough. It had been for two days. He was drinking too much, and for two nights now he'd left the bed once Emily was finally asleep. He'd gone to the back patio and stared at the stars and selfishly begged God to keep Emily safe. He'd thrown in prayers for his best friend, but he knew he was mostly terrified that he might lose this one precious woman who had given him so much joy.

"She's a bitch," Emily said.

"She wants you to think that," Dave said. "And she wants them to think that. If the Assistant Director believes the team doesn't trust her, then he'll also believe that she has no reason to protect the team."

"Since when are you the logical one?" she muttered. "I thought I was better at politics than you."

"You're shit at politics, and you know it," he said. He cleared his throat. "It's one of many things I love about you. You managed to grow up with it and still somehow keep clear. Erin was in on this from the moment Hotch stepped down in favor of Morgan. She knew his plan. She chose to have faith in him--in us. In this team. Erin Strauss' ass is on the line here too. I know she didn't do right by you at first, but even bureaucrats can occasionally be taught."

Emily let out a muffled laugh and shook her head. "You're such a bastard."

"It's why you love me." He sort of wished they hadn't emptied the bottle of Eagle Rare that night they got Aaron semi-drunk and sent him home with Spencer.

"He needs help," she murmured. "We're all trying to be strong for him, but I don't know if any of us are strong enough."

Dave nodded. "Together we are." He was well aware of the irony inherent in him placing all his faith in the team. But old dogs could be taught new tricks sometimes, too. "You need to get Spencer to go to him."

Emily pressed her lips together, but she nodded. As she headed back out to the bullpen, her fingers clasped gently around his for a moment. Then she was gone.

***

Spencer wasn't sure how he'd ended up sitting in the round-table room with Jack. He barely knew Jack, and he'd never been good with children. But Jack was a quiet boy, well-behaved and withdrawn, and Spencer's chest ached when he looked at him.

He knew.

Maybe his mother hadn't been ripped away from him through violence, but the slow, insidious slipping away had taken her from him all the same. He had grown up with an absent father who was nothing like Aaron and a mentally ill mother who was nothing like Haley, but he still knew.

Jack ought to be protected. And Aaron and Haley had done that. They were Jack's parents. Haley had made the ultimate sacrifice for her son.

Spencer couldn't abandon the man he loved in his time of need, but he also couldn't quite bring himself to get as close as he wanted. He couldn't see himself as worthy of that closeness. Not in the face of Haley's death.

So he did what he could.

He asked JJ and Garcia to stay with Aaron and Jack in their temporary home. He stood up to Strauss and exaggerated the power of his memory. He didn't blink once in the face of her questions. He never hesitated in defending Aaron and the choices he had made...and he had never questioned himself. Aaron had done everything right.

"Hey."

He looked up, though Jack kept his gaze on the toy dinosaurs on the table.

Emily came in, gave him a thin-lipped smile, and sat next to him. "How's your knee?"

Spencer just nodded. He and Aaron had been growing more adventurous physically lately, since he graduated to the cane. That was something else he thought should be put on hold. If their relationship wasn't ended entirely by Aaron's loss of his ex-wife.

"You don't have to talk," Emily said. "Just be with him. Don't make him go through this alone."

Two of Jack's dinosaurs were fighting. Spencer's stomach jumped and he wondered how much of the struggle in his home Jack had understood. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"You are strong enough, Spencer," she said quietly. "I can't imagine what it feels like. I only know how I feel, which is powerless and sad." Her voice quavered slightly, then she regained control. He had always envied Emily her control. "She was his past," Emily said finally. She was breathing hard. "But you are his future."

Spencer couldn't swallow. He looked down at the table. When the cane fell from his hands, Jack looked up. Then little boy steps approached and two small hands were resting on his thigh.

"Why're you sad, Spesser?"

Spencer shook his head and lifted a hand to smooth over Jack's hair.

Emily cleared her throat and leaned in. "Everybody's a little sad right now, Jack," she said quietly. "It's okay to be sad. And it's okay to not be sad sometimes." She reached out a hand to him and Jack patted Spencer's thigh, then went to her.

Spencer shuddered and tried not to let the tears escape.

Emily lifted Jack to her lap and kissed his hair. "Right now is a sad time for Spencer. Can I see your dinosaurs?"

Jack still clutched a bright orange brontosaurus in his right hand. He held it up to Emily's face so quickly he hit her nose. It startled a laugh from Spencer, and then Emily laughed too, though she rubbed her nose when she didn't think Jack would notice.

After a while JJ came in with snacks, and then Dave brought a glass of water in. Garcia and Morgan drifted in a little later, and Spencer realized Aaron must be with Strauss.

When Aaron came in, everyone stood. It felt automatic, a sign of respect. Jack ran to his father, and Aaron's embrace looked desperate. But the team was together, and when Spencer glanced around, he could tell that the team would stay together.

***

On the third night after he killed Foyet, Aaron climbed in bed with his son, putting pillows on Jack's other side and tucking him in tight. In a chair next to the bed, Spencer had a book in his hands, and a glass of water on the nightstand. Spencer licked his lips, cleared his throat, and glanced self-consciously at Aaron. But Aaron's eyes were closed, and Spencer thought maybe he needed this as much as Jack.

So Spencer read.

'Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, about last Friday, Winnie-the-Pooh lived in a forest all by himself under the name of Sanders.'


Date: 2009-11-28 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_touched/
I can totally see how you would watch it a second time, especially if you're needing to get certain things right for your fics that you're writing and the coda's.

OMG! I feel so privledged to have insider info shared with me. lol. And, Hotch/Rossi is definitely a pleasure that I delight in. I've read, "Expansion of Two Natures" and I absolutely loved it. So, the fact that this is set in that universe...yes, thank you for doing this. I cannot wait until you post the first part. :)

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