escape yourself and gravity

Title: The Best Laid Plans
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Rating: G
Era: Post-war, non-DH-compliant
WC: 1274
Summary: Severus has spent six months in Azkaban, but he has one ally he didn't know about.
Note: Written for thesnapelyone on the glorious occasion of her birth, lo these many years ago. *G* Also unbetaed, feel free to point out any typos, etc.


( Happy birthday Nori!!! )

Yes, I'm still awake. I tried to sleep for a while and couldn't do more than drift, came back looking for a fic, ended up finding it and also rereading a fic that was posted about the same time. And I realised something.

The reason I am so hurt by fics where Severus loves Remus more than Remus loves him (if Remus loves him at all) is that Severus' life has been so dreadful already. I know life isn't fair, but I confess, in fanfic, I want it to be. I don't care if they have to face adversity, as long as, in the end, I know they have each other, and they are equal partners in it.

Don't get me wrong, I know Remus' life hasn't exactly been a picnic. But he's had a bit more control in some respects than Severus, at least over the past fifteen years or so.

All too often, I've been the one who loved more, in a relationship. I know how much that hurts. I know those constant fears that someday you won't be enough, that someday someone else will offer more than you can, even if you're offering everything. I know what it feels like to tell someone you love him, and not hear it back. To know that somehow you're too flawed to be given his commitment. That you're good enough to mess about with but not good enough to show off to his friends.

Lest you think this is a self-pity party, I'll also say that I've had at least one serious relationship in which I was the one who loved less, and I know I hurt him, and I've never stopped wishing I could've loved more or acted more kindly. And I know he's happy now and there's still a little bit of me that wishes it could've been me to make him happy, even though he deserved better. And I've had other non-relationships where I didn't feel any love beyond human kindness, where the unrequited feelings were his and not mine. So I've been on that side of the fence.

But what we saw of Severus in canon through HBP was a picture of a man who had been bullied in his youth, made a probably impetuous decision to serve Voldemort, repented, and then spent the next 17 or so years of his life making up for that one mistake. In the meantime, he was still seen as someone to be hated and called names like greasy, even by students, who ought to have respected him, if not for his personality, at least for the knowledge he could impart. And Remus Lupin is one of very few people who actually treats him with equanimity, amiableness, even polite friendliness. Who else does that? Dumbledore, and perhaps Minerva.

Of course, DH made things worse. Oh, JKR tells us Snape is inexcusable because he was once loved. Right, okay, he had friendship from a girl named Lily Evans who obviously hadn't learned what unconditional love is when she refused to forgive him. Sorry, I don't buy it. If I look too closely at DH, I get angry for Severus all over again, so I'm just not going to go there, except to say that Lily's "love" for him wasn't much of a favour. And Dumbledore...well, if I look at DH, Dumbledore didn't even treat him as well as Remus does.

Anyway. I'm sort of losing my point, and probably that has something to do with the fact that I've been awake for more hours than is good for me. This has already turned out longer than I meant for it to be, because frankly I'd like to go back to bed and sleep for a while. (While I'm dreaming, does anyone want to come over and read comforting viciousmoon scenes to me while I try to sleep? *grin*) But I wanted to get this down in writing so I don't forget.

Also, if you think I'm writing this because of your fic...well, you're probably wrong. But to the person whose fic prompted this, I love your writing, admire you, adore the depth of emotion in your fic...and sometimes they cut me to shards and make me unhappy, no matter how well-written and beautiful they are. Now I'm going to go snuggle my plush snake, because it's kind of like having my very own Remus & Severus to snuggle. *G*

Following the discussion at lupin_snape, I wrote this intending it to be a comfort fic. I'm not sure if I succeeded, entirely. In the spirit of meta-month, if anyone wants to practise beta-reading on me, you're welcome to, because this is otherwise unbetaed.


Title: Looking Back, Seeing Far
Rating: G
Era: Post-OotP
WC: 1702
Summary: No one seems to notice that Lupin is withdrawing--no one, that is, but Severus.
Notes: Although this is set after OotP, the events of HBP are somewhat altered. Title and a line at the end from Dar Williams' song "You're Aging Well".



( Looking Back, Seeing Far )

This was written for pervy_werewolf's Post-DH Slightly Smutty Fest, but unfortunately the way this fic bunnied me, it ended up with no smut at all. McKay was good enough to say I could post it elsewhere instead of scrapping it. I had originally intended to post it on Halloween, but I decided that, since I posted a Redemption installment for lore's birthday on Halloween, this fic would fit just as well an All Souls Night.


Title: Life Among the Dead
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Remus/Severus, references to Tonks/Remus
WC: ~7300
Summary: Remus reaches out his hand and is pulled back into life - by his son, working on behalf of someone who has missed Remus dearly....

Notes: I listened to a lot of My Chemical Romance while writing this, especially The Black Parade. "Famous Last Words" is probably my theme song, ironically enough, for this piece. Thanks to my betas aunty_marion, senjism, thesnapelyone, and lore, and thanks to scribbulus_ink for her input as well.

Epigraphs are from the gorgeous and painful poem "How to Bring Someone Back from the Dead" by Veronica Schanoes. Title is from Evanescence's song "Bring Me to Life".



( Life Among the Dead )

Respect

Prompt: 85 - Friendship
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Warnings: Slash
WC: 2,165
Redemption - PG to R (WIP) - After Voldemort's defeat, Remus--crippled in his last battle--and Severus--pardoned but a pariah--manage to forge a connection, despite the expectations of the world around them.
Series so far:

1. Reconciliation 2. Rehabilitation 3. Recovery 4. Reply 5. Rediscovery 6. Receiving 7. Repartee 8. Relapse 9. Requisite 10. Retreat 11. Refining 12. Repose 13. Reconsidering 14. Renaissance 15. Retribution 16. Return 17.Rematch 18. Redefining 19. Relishing 20. Recognition21. Remembering 22. Refrain 23. Reformation 24. Recrimination 25. Reliance 26. Reverting 27. Repercussion 28. Reminder 29. Retracing 30. Reassurance 31. Restoration 32. Reverence

Notes: Thank you to mnemosyne_1 for a fabulous and quick beta. This installment is my birthday present for _lore. ^__^

( 33. Respect )

Reverence


Prompt: 46 - Flowers
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Warnings: Slash
WC: 1,359
Redemption - PG to R (WIP) - After Voldemort's defeat, Remus--crippled in his last battle--and Severus--pardoned but a pariah--manage to forge a connection, despite the expectations of the world around them.
Series so far:

1. Reconciliation 2. Rehabilitation 3. Recovery 4. Reply 5. Rediscovery 6. Receiving 7. Repartee 8. Relapse 9. Requisite 10. Retreat 11. Refining 12. Repose 13. Reconsidering 14. Renaissance 15. Retribution 16. Return 17.Rematch 18. Redefining 19. Relishing 20. Recognition 21. Remembering 22. Refrain 23. Reformation 24. Recrimination 25. Reliance 26. Reverting 27. Repercussion 28. Reminder 29. Retracing 30. Reassurance 31. Restoration 32. Respect



( 32. Reverence )

Title: Unbroken
Author: innerslytherin
Pairing/Characters: Remus/Severus, Dumbledore, Tonks
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: lupin_snape Resurrection Fest
WC: ~9100
Summary: If someone swears an unbreakable vow, they cannot die until the vow is completed...
Warnings: Um…canon character death (in a way)
Notes: They don't belong to me; if they were mine I'd treat them better. Many thanks to my betas _lore and aunty_marion.


( Unbroken )

I discovered that I have video editing software on my computer. So I put it to good use...

( I made a video!! )

Here, I also took some snaps.

( Photos )

They've taken my window out. So now there isn't even a sheet of glass separating my cubicle from the construction noise -- there's a sheet of thin plastic. I just spent the last hour chatting with the receptionist because I couldn't be in my cube. I kept watching for the construction guy to come back out, but apparently he climbed through the window, because I came back here a while ago and found the thing sealed up.

I suppose I should just be grateful I wasn't in the middle of paying bills when they did it, but man! I just want to go home until they're finished with this area. If N--- were here today I'd ask her if I could work in her office, because that's what A-- said we could do one day, but I don't know where her office is and N--- and the receptionist are my only "friends" here, and all the managers are out in a big meeting somewhere.

GEEZ. Someone is running a huge saw out there and it just goes right through your head. The noise I mean, though of course the saw probably would as well. *snort*

Is this day over yet???

I could be at home playing Sims2! Yesterday I created Teenage!Severus and his parents Eileen and Tobias, and then Teenage!Remus and his parents John and Celeste. I've been horrible to Severus, he doesn't even have a bed, he has to sleep on the sofa. I'm trying to play the Snape family without hacks. Tobias has a poker career, so some nights he works and makes no money and other nights he brings home 50 Simoleans or so. Eileen doesn't work, but she does cultivate all her garden plants and herbs for money. I gave Severus the wealth aspiration, but kept Remus with the knowledge aspiration.

Anyway, Remus met Tobias because Tobias was one of the random neighbourhood people who showed up to welcome the Lupins to their new home. So I cultivated that, and then went to play the Snape family, and Tobias invited Remus over. It was sweet. The first time Remus showed up, he went up to Severus and shyly admired him. *grin* I've now got them to the first stages of crushdom, and they actually hugged for the first time without my telling them too! I've managed their first kiss, and several more after it, though I haven't dared to try for the proposing to go steady yet.

I can't decide whether to create the rest of the Marauders or not. Similarly, in my post-war set of HP Sims, I don't think I have Harry & Ginny or Ron & Hermione going anywhere. In fact I may not even have Harry & Ginny anymore. I may have lost them when I had to do the reinstall ages ago, and may never have recreated them. What does it say that I do have most of the Slytherins? (Though I didn't have Bulstrode or Goyle, and now, thanks to culpaepatria, I'm going to have to create them as a couple. *grin*

Oh man, this noise is driving me crazy! I don't have enough work to do to make this worth it, and I can't even concentrate on fic-writing. (I'm trying. I have over 2,000 words now--though not all of them connected--for my lupin_snape Resurrection Fest fic. That's been my fanfic project for this morning...but it has languished a bit.)

I HAS NEW LJ LAYOUT!

innerslytherin innerslytherin innerslytherin innerslytherin

Now if anyone can tell me how to make the Quite Lickable put a horizontal rule between every entry, I will be completely pleased.





And now I must go to bed, if I am going to get up in... ugh...four hours to drive to Nashville (Indiana) with the parents.

*flops*