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innerslytherinTitle: The Blink of an Eye
Pairings: Rossi/Prentiss, Hotch/Reid
Rating: PG
WC: ~1250
Summary: Three perspectives on "Haunted". SPOILERS.
Notes: Betaed by the super-fastresolucidity. This is a sequel to my fics Not So Alone and Weeping Endures for a Night.
"I'm a blinker."
He'd said those words to Garcia, and he'd meant more with them than she'd realized. Thirty-four days. Thirty-four days of silence. Thirty-four days of painful recovery for them both, yes, but thirty-four days during which Aaron was supposed to have talked to him.
Instead, Spencer had blinked.
He'd fallen back into his awkwardness and the familiar quiet support, and that in itself might not have been bad, but he didn't push enough. He didn't make Aaron talk to him. He couldn't even bring himself to talk about Hankel any more, not after that first night in the hospital.
So he'd spent thirty-four days worrying about Aaron, and wishing he knew what it was like not to blink.
***
Dave had sort of had this idea that once he confessed to Emily that he was serious about her, things would change. She would realize he was serious about her, maybe they'd start doing things that normal couples did, like dinner and a movie, or at least holding hands while walking through a store. Maybe they'd start talking about the future. Maybe he'd even confess that, while he wasn't getting any younger, the idea of having a family with her was incredibly appealing.
Instead, Dave saw less of her than before.
Oh, he got it. Or at least, he pretended to get it. She was the one who'd found Hotch's apartment covered in blood. She'd stared at the bullet hole in his wall. She'd had to hold it together--alone--while the rest of the team had no idea that Hotch was missing.
He understood that Hotch was the first man she'd ever truly trusted. A man who hadn't let her down for politics or religion, a man whose first loyalty, no matter what, was to his team. A man who hadn't abandoned her even when he had the most cause to distrust her. Yeah, Dave understood that.
He told himself there was no reason to be jealous of his best friend.
He wasn't sure he believed it.
***
What bothered Spencer most was the way Dave looked at him.
Dave had entrusted him to take care of Aaron. Dave had even sacrificed his own concern for the woman he loved in order to stay with Aaron...until Spencer arrived at the hospital after checking himself out AMA from his own injury. Then, only then, had Dave allowed himself to leave Aaron. That right there told Spencer all he needed to know about how important Aaron was to Dave. And he'd let Dave down.
He'd blinked.
***
"Did you decide not to go to work today?" Dave brushed his lips against Emily's neck as she brushed her teeth. She shivered and gave him that look in the mirror, the one that made his knees feel like they were going to melt. Then she leaned down and spit.
"I'm picking Hotch up before work," she said, and that took care of the melty knees by freezing his gut entirely.
"You what?"
She rinsed her mouth, then straightened up. "I'm picking Hotch up. I just...I have to make sure, Dave." Her dark eyes flitted to his mouth, which was flat and unhappy, then up to his eyes, which he had a feeling were wounded.
She had to make sure.
"His carpet...if you'd seen his wall, Dave," she whispered. Her eyes were wounded too, and Dave reminded himself that she'd never had anyone like Hotch in her life before. She'd been hurt and betrayed by authority figures in the past. She needed to remind herself that the one authority figure she could count on was coming back.
"I know," he said quietly, and pulled her into his arms. She held on to him tightly, pressing her face against his neck.
And later, when Derek questioned it, Dave pushed aside his own jealousy and defended that decision. Just like he would always defend her.
***
Spencer hadn't been there when Aaron walked into a house with an armed man on a psychotic break. He'd been stuck at the police station with a throbbing knee and Tylenol. But he knew how it had happened. He could see it in his mind's eye.
Aaron took off his jacket to put on his Kevlar. But before he could put on the vest, something pushed him too far. Something told him, You can end this. You can save him. And he'd marched into the house, unblinking.
Because Aaron didn't blink. He never blinked.
Sometimes, Spencer thought, it would be better if he did.
***
"Hey," Dave said, tugging Emily back when the rest of the team walked into the bullpen. "Will you do me a favor?"
She paused and smiled at him. It was a sweet smile, and he'd only ever seen it offered to him. He had a feeling he might try to shoot anyone else she ever smiled at like that. "Anything for you, Rossi," she murmured, her gaze warm.
He took a deep breath and blurted it out before he could think better of it. "Would you give Aaron a ride home? I think I'm going to have to deal with Derek."
She glanced around to make sure no one was around, then leaned in and brushed her lips against his. "You want me to make sure he's got the alarm set before I go?"
"Yeah. And, Em? Make sure he knows we're still his team."
***
She chose to interpret Dave's request in her own way. Hotch knew they were his team. Even though Morgan butted heads with him and challenged him, even though Garcia jumped every time Hotch said how high, even though Emily herself was fussing like a mother hen...he had no reason to question that they were his team.
What she wanted him to remember was that they were his family. He was the dad in more ways than one. He was their moral compass, the glue who held them together. He was the man they all looked to. He was their backup, their backbone.
And right now, he needed them. She knew that.
So she walked him to the door, watched him unlock the apartment and disarm the alarm system. She noticed the way he had to set his shoulders and steel himself to enter the apartment. She wondered how many times in the past thirty-four days he'd actually left, except when she and Dave had dragged him out.
And then she told him it was all okay.
"He doesn't have anyone," Hotch said, and they were pretending to talk about Darrin, but God, it broke her heart. How could he not realize how much his team worshiped him?
"He has Tommy," she replied. "He's not alone."
Would he ever get over it? She didn't know. But he wasn't alone. And just like Darrin had Tommy, Hotch had the team. More specifically, Hotch had someone on the team who respected and adored him, if he would only allow himself to reach for it. She didn't know what had happened--or, more likely, failed to happen--between Spencer and Hotch that night, but she knew what needed to happen.
Hotch took those words in, and finally he offered a tiny nod. It wasn't much, but it told her that her message was received.
"Get some sleep," she said, knowing he wouldn't.
"You, too," he replied, and she left. And then she stood outside and listened to the bolt slide home and the chain slip along the guide.
By the time she was snuggled safely in Dave's arms, there was no trace left to show that she'd cried all the way home.
Pairings: Rossi/Prentiss, Hotch/Reid
Rating: PG
WC: ~1250
Summary: Three perspectives on "Haunted". SPOILERS.
Notes: Betaed by the super-fast
resolucidity. This is a sequel to my fics Not So Alone and Weeping Endures for a Night."I'm a blinker."
He'd said those words to Garcia, and he'd meant more with them than she'd realized. Thirty-four days. Thirty-four days of silence. Thirty-four days of painful recovery for them both, yes, but thirty-four days during which Aaron was supposed to have talked to him.
Instead, Spencer had blinked.
He'd fallen back into his awkwardness and the familiar quiet support, and that in itself might not have been bad, but he didn't push enough. He didn't make Aaron talk to him. He couldn't even bring himself to talk about Hankel any more, not after that first night in the hospital.
So he'd spent thirty-four days worrying about Aaron, and wishing he knew what it was like not to blink.
***
Dave had sort of had this idea that once he confessed to Emily that he was serious about her, things would change. She would realize he was serious about her, maybe they'd start doing things that normal couples did, like dinner and a movie, or at least holding hands while walking through a store. Maybe they'd start talking about the future. Maybe he'd even confess that, while he wasn't getting any younger, the idea of having a family with her was incredibly appealing.
Instead, Dave saw less of her than before.
Oh, he got it. Or at least, he pretended to get it. She was the one who'd found Hotch's apartment covered in blood. She'd stared at the bullet hole in his wall. She'd had to hold it together--alone--while the rest of the team had no idea that Hotch was missing.
He understood that Hotch was the first man she'd ever truly trusted. A man who hadn't let her down for politics or religion, a man whose first loyalty, no matter what, was to his team. A man who hadn't abandoned her even when he had the most cause to distrust her. Yeah, Dave understood that.
He told himself there was no reason to be jealous of his best friend.
He wasn't sure he believed it.
***
What bothered Spencer most was the way Dave looked at him.
Dave had entrusted him to take care of Aaron. Dave had even sacrificed his own concern for the woman he loved in order to stay with Aaron...until Spencer arrived at the hospital after checking himself out AMA from his own injury. Then, only then, had Dave allowed himself to leave Aaron. That right there told Spencer all he needed to know about how important Aaron was to Dave. And he'd let Dave down.
He'd blinked.
***
"Did you decide not to go to work today?" Dave brushed his lips against Emily's neck as she brushed her teeth. She shivered and gave him that look in the mirror, the one that made his knees feel like they were going to melt. Then she leaned down and spit.
"I'm picking Hotch up before work," she said, and that took care of the melty knees by freezing his gut entirely.
"You what?"
She rinsed her mouth, then straightened up. "I'm picking Hotch up. I just...I have to make sure, Dave." Her dark eyes flitted to his mouth, which was flat and unhappy, then up to his eyes, which he had a feeling were wounded.
She had to make sure.
"His carpet...if you'd seen his wall, Dave," she whispered. Her eyes were wounded too, and Dave reminded himself that she'd never had anyone like Hotch in her life before. She'd been hurt and betrayed by authority figures in the past. She needed to remind herself that the one authority figure she could count on was coming back.
"I know," he said quietly, and pulled her into his arms. She held on to him tightly, pressing her face against his neck.
And later, when Derek questioned it, Dave pushed aside his own jealousy and defended that decision. Just like he would always defend her.
***
Spencer hadn't been there when Aaron walked into a house with an armed man on a psychotic break. He'd been stuck at the police station with a throbbing knee and Tylenol. But he knew how it had happened. He could see it in his mind's eye.
Aaron took off his jacket to put on his Kevlar. But before he could put on the vest, something pushed him too far. Something told him, You can end this. You can save him. And he'd marched into the house, unblinking.
Because Aaron didn't blink. He never blinked.
Sometimes, Spencer thought, it would be better if he did.
***
"Hey," Dave said, tugging Emily back when the rest of the team walked into the bullpen. "Will you do me a favor?"
She paused and smiled at him. It was a sweet smile, and he'd only ever seen it offered to him. He had a feeling he might try to shoot anyone else she ever smiled at like that. "Anything for you, Rossi," she murmured, her gaze warm.
He took a deep breath and blurted it out before he could think better of it. "Would you give Aaron a ride home? I think I'm going to have to deal with Derek."
She glanced around to make sure no one was around, then leaned in and brushed her lips against his. "You want me to make sure he's got the alarm set before I go?"
"Yeah. And, Em? Make sure he knows we're still his team."
***
She chose to interpret Dave's request in her own way. Hotch knew they were his team. Even though Morgan butted heads with him and challenged him, even though Garcia jumped every time Hotch said how high, even though Emily herself was fussing like a mother hen...he had no reason to question that they were his team.
What she wanted him to remember was that they were his family. He was the dad in more ways than one. He was their moral compass, the glue who held them together. He was the man they all looked to. He was their backup, their backbone.
And right now, he needed them. She knew that.
So she walked him to the door, watched him unlock the apartment and disarm the alarm system. She noticed the way he had to set his shoulders and steel himself to enter the apartment. She wondered how many times in the past thirty-four days he'd actually left, except when she and Dave had dragged him out.
And then she told him it was all okay.
"He doesn't have anyone," Hotch said, and they were pretending to talk about Darrin, but God, it broke her heart. How could he not realize how much his team worshiped him?
"He has Tommy," she replied. "He's not alone."
Would he ever get over it? She didn't know. But he wasn't alone. And just like Darrin had Tommy, Hotch had the team. More specifically, Hotch had someone on the team who respected and adored him, if he would only allow himself to reach for it. She didn't know what had happened--or, more likely, failed to happen--between Spencer and Hotch that night, but she knew what needed to happen.
Hotch took those words in, and finally he offered a tiny nod. It wasn't much, but it told her that her message was received.
"Get some sleep," she said, knowing he wouldn't.
"You, too," he replied, and she left. And then she stood outside and listened to the bolt slide home and the chain slip along the guide.
By the time she was snuggled safely in Dave's arms, there was no trace left to show that she'd cried all the way home.