Step AWAY from the email

[innerslytherin]

Dear person who is emailing me chain letter bullshit thinking I am A---,

There is a lovely website. It is called Snopes.com. The woman who runs it, the intelligent and funny Barbara Mikkelson, is very good at research. She researches a very large number of urban legends, chain emails, and other things like that. The first time you forwarded me something, I sent you a nice email with a link to the Snopes.com page debunking the particular urban legend you were passing along. To no one's surprise, you did not reply, but unfortunately you also didn't take me (or A---) off your forwarding list.

I feel it's my duty to tell you that no, the serial killer does not drop dollars at the gas station in the hopes that woman will take them and he can kill them. (The serial killer, in fact, being smarter than that and also more depraved, only kills woman that fit the same profile. Furthermore, the serial killer this urban legend started about is now behind bars.) This morning I feel it is my duty to inform you that the government is also not taking "In God We Trust" off the new presidential dollars, so there is no need to "boycott" this currency. (I would also like to point out that, by furthering this incorrect report, you are making people who trust in God--i.e. Christians--look stupid. It annoys us smart Christians who are able to research something before having hysterics about it.) Also, that girl in the "Amber Alert" email probably isn't really missing, because we weren't given any details like where and when she was last seen, what she was wearing, or who she was with. It's true that her name wasn't specifically mentioned, but there were several others in the exact same context of an email...and I checked two missing children websites and didn't find her listed.

Here's another thing I feel you should know: No matter how many times you see an email that says, "Forward this to ten people and hit shift and you'll see the answer", or "Forward this to at least five people, and when they have forwarded it to five people, you'll get an email with the answer", it is not true. Let's think about this for a minute. If those claims were true, that would be indication that the originator of the email had some sort of tracking software installed on your computer. This is generally known as spyware, and most people don't think it's a good thing. If you would like to help that little girl with cancer you think wrote the poem (she didn't) then donate money to the American Cancer Society, don't forward some stupid email. You'll be sorely disappointed that you didn't get the answer to the "Paul Harvey" riddle that came with the "Paul Harvey" essay (Lee Pitts actually wrote that, by the way)--though as Barbara Mikkelson points out, the answer to that riddle is "nothing", so in a sense, you will get the answer, she says: If you forward it, nothing will happen. (To which I have to say, Yes, nothing, except that your more intelligent friends will be thoroughly annoyed at you.)

I realize not everyone is as net savvy as my LJ friendslist. However, when I have sent you a link to a powerful website, how much time does it take for you to check these things out before you forward them? Answer: not much.

Sincerely,

The annoyed temp who has to check A----'s email

Comments

[whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com]

How does boycotting a type of currency do anything? That makes no sense.

Also, people get mad at me for linking to Snopes. Especially if it's a feel good story (the one where the dog "saved" the fireman was on a message board I frequent and when I linked the Snopes article about it, people jumped all over me for ruining a good story. Shit, I didn't ruin it. It's still a good story, just be honest with the fact that it's a STORY and not true.)

And, when I tell people to check stuff before they forward it, I get, "I don't have time to check it first." Well, you certainly seem to have time to send me billions of forwards, so this must mean you are just too lazy to check.

I honestly do not even read most forwards I get. And I have forwarded exactly two things I've received--because they were so funny I could not stop laughing. Otherwise, they're just annoying and sometimes cute.

But, I have to say this (and wish I could say it to the people who send me forwards without having a fight): If you really love me, think God loves me, etc, tell me in your own words. All a forward of that type does is tell me you don't care enough to put any actual energy into telling me this kind of thing, which makes what the forward says not ring true. The funny stuff, you can send me. Sometimes I'll read it, sometimes I won't. Inspirational stuff always, always gets deleted unread. I can read the Bible and get things that are a lot more inspirational than anything some forwarding person can come up with. All warnings will either be something I've already read in Snopes or something I will look up on Snopes. It's particularly silly to send me warnings about criminals as I work in law enforcement and I know that criminals don't do that kind of thing. (Kind of like the guy last night who told me he thought that someone coming to tow a car could be a criminal stealing cars. Yeah, criminals don't use tow trucks to steal cars. Most of them wouldn't have a clue how to work a tow truck.)

Sorry about that teal deer rant.

[innerslytherin]

Oh, don't worry, I'm with you 100%. Those cutesy or tear-jerker emails get deleted, usually with a sneer of contempt on my face. The funny ones - yeah, sometimes I'll pass those along. But...man. Why can't people just take a couple minutes to VERIFY things instead of being alarmist. And boycotting a currency just makes you poor. ^_~

[heyurs.livejournal.com]

This is great, honey. I think I will share with office mates. "Why don't you answer my e-mails?" "You don't wrote s*** to answer!"   Geesh! A bunch of FWD's all day! If it's something cute or funny, I may share, but the rest of it... *pppfffbt*!   Anyway, thanks for this, hon.

[corvus-coronis.livejournal.com]

This Page (http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/poster.asp) form the Coca Cola section always gives me a bit of a perverse kind of local pride

[innerslytherin]

Bwahahaha! Perverse in more ways than one. ^_~ That's great. I love it when some of those rumours actually are true.

[innerslytherin]

Though seriously, how dirty-minded are all those people who complain about things like the Little Mermaid cover? They must go around looking for penii.