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innerslytherinTitle: Coda
Pairing: Morgan/Hotch
WC: ~700
Rating: PG
Summary: After the events of Mayhem, Morgan and Hotch have some things to discuss.
Note: SPOILERS FOR MAYHEM! Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
severity_softly for the beta. This is another piece for aoibhe. This is a companion piece to Respite.
"Still want to drive?"
Maybe it was a challenge. Maybe Aaron was just daring him to walk away. Derek unlocked the SUV and then turned to face him. He didn't bother to hide his anger.
"Aaron, you know damn well I'm not going anywhere. I'm right where I want to be."
Aaron sighed and looked away. "I don't know, Derek; maybe it's for the best."
"What? After what we've been through this week--" After what I as good as confessed to you in that damn hospital-- "You think I would even consider the notion of leaving the BAU?"
"Your actions showed that you don't trust this team, and you don't trust me," Aaron said. His voice was calm, level. His expression was terrible. "I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. I don't know how to do that. And I thought we had a trust between us. I would trust you with my life. I do trust you with my body." He met Derek's gaze, and his eyes looked lost and almost frightened. "But you can't give me that back."
"Do you think I'm not trying?" Derek demanded, staring at him. His chest was aching. "Aaron, I do the best I can. But you've gotta remember I'm not good with this sort of thing."
"Do you think any of us are?" Aaron replied. "My blood father beat me and my mother for years before she left him. Reid's father abandoned him, and his mother is more child than parent. Prentiss spent her formative years being dragged around the globe by a mother with more ambition than tenderness. Dave has had three failed marriages. Garcia lost her parents when she was young." He shook his head. "We all have reasons we ended up at the BAU, Derek. But Reid trusted us to bring him out of Hankel's clutches. Garcia trusted us--trusted you--to protect her from Battle. Don't you see? We can't operate as a team if there are walls between us."
Derek tightened his jaw. "The only wall I'm seein' right now is the one you're putting up between you and me," he replied, and turned away.
"I know I scared the shit out of you," Aaron said quietly. The very calmness of the words made Derek pause, though he didn't turn around. "You thought you'd lost me before you even really knew you had me. I get that, Derek. But have you considered what you did to me last night?"
Slowly, Derek turned, his gaze questioning on Aaron's face.
"Garcia told us you were going after the bomb by yourself. Garcia told us. You didn't. We were running to catch up with you, Derek, and all you left us was the sound of gunshots and a fading siren. I honestly thought we had cornered the man who would become your murderer."
A chill went through Derek, and his lips parted, but no words came. Aaron shook his head, his eyes never leaving Derek's face, even though they were glossing up with moisture.
"I thought I'd lost you, and you would never realize how much our relationship means to me," he said quietly. "I thought you'd gone off and got yourself killed thinking that I was planning to end this because of past affection between me and Kate." He looked down, passing a hand across his eyes.
"Did you ever think about what losing you might do to me?"
Derek was perfectly still for a long time. He saw the trembling in Hotch's hand, took in the background noise of passing cars. He felt his own breaths like they lasted for hours apiece. Finally he let out a gusty sigh and moved toward Aaron again.
"Well, you didn't lose me," he said quietly. "And no way in hell am I letting you transfer me just to get me out of your hair. You're stuck with me. All the way back to Quantico." He kept his gaze on Aaron's face and reached a hand between them, hoping he wouldn't be denied.
After a moment, Aaron's hand slid into his and he allowed Derek to tug him gently toward the SUV. "I hope you have a lot of coffee. It's going to be a long drive."
Pairing: Morgan/Hotch
WC: ~700
Rating: PG
Summary: After the events of Mayhem, Morgan and Hotch have some things to discuss.
Note: SPOILERS FOR MAYHEM! Thanks to
severity_softly for the beta. This is another piece for aoibhe. This is a companion piece to Respite."Still want to drive?"
Maybe it was a challenge. Maybe Aaron was just daring him to walk away. Derek unlocked the SUV and then turned to face him. He didn't bother to hide his anger.
"Aaron, you know damn well I'm not going anywhere. I'm right where I want to be."
Aaron sighed and looked away. "I don't know, Derek; maybe it's for the best."
"What? After what we've been through this week--" After what I as good as confessed to you in that damn hospital-- "You think I would even consider the notion of leaving the BAU?"
"Your actions showed that you don't trust this team, and you don't trust me," Aaron said. His voice was calm, level. His expression was terrible. "I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. I don't know how to do that. And I thought we had a trust between us. I would trust you with my life. I do trust you with my body." He met Derek's gaze, and his eyes looked lost and almost frightened. "But you can't give me that back."
"Do you think I'm not trying?" Derek demanded, staring at him. His chest was aching. "Aaron, I do the best I can. But you've gotta remember I'm not good with this sort of thing."
"Do you think any of us are?" Aaron replied. "My blood father beat me and my mother for years before she left him. Reid's father abandoned him, and his mother is more child than parent. Prentiss spent her formative years being dragged around the globe by a mother with more ambition than tenderness. Dave has had three failed marriages. Garcia lost her parents when she was young." He shook his head. "We all have reasons we ended up at the BAU, Derek. But Reid trusted us to bring him out of Hankel's clutches. Garcia trusted us--trusted you--to protect her from Battle. Don't you see? We can't operate as a team if there are walls between us."
Derek tightened his jaw. "The only wall I'm seein' right now is the one you're putting up between you and me," he replied, and turned away.
"I know I scared the shit out of you," Aaron said quietly. The very calmness of the words made Derek pause, though he didn't turn around. "You thought you'd lost me before you even really knew you had me. I get that, Derek. But have you considered what you did to me last night?"
Slowly, Derek turned, his gaze questioning on Aaron's face.
"Garcia told us you were going after the bomb by yourself. Garcia told us. You didn't. We were running to catch up with you, Derek, and all you left us was the sound of gunshots and a fading siren. I honestly thought we had cornered the man who would become your murderer."
A chill went through Derek, and his lips parted, but no words came. Aaron shook his head, his eyes never leaving Derek's face, even though they were glossing up with moisture.
"I thought I'd lost you, and you would never realize how much our relationship means to me," he said quietly. "I thought you'd gone off and got yourself killed thinking that I was planning to end this because of past affection between me and Kate." He looked down, passing a hand across his eyes.
"Did you ever think about what losing you might do to me?"
Derek was perfectly still for a long time. He saw the trembling in Hotch's hand, took in the background noise of passing cars. He felt his own breaths like they lasted for hours apiece. Finally he let out a gusty sigh and moved toward Aaron again.
"Well, you didn't lose me," he said quietly. "And no way in hell am I letting you transfer me just to get me out of your hair. You're stuck with me. All the way back to Quantico." He kept his gaze on Aaron's face and reached a hand between them, hoping he wouldn't be denied.
After a moment, Aaron's hand slid into his and he allowed Derek to tug him gently toward the SUV. "I hope you have a lot of coffee. It's going to be a long drive."
