innerslytherin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
innerslytherin) wrote2010-01-07 09:34 pm
innerslytherin) wrote2010-01-07 09:34 pm
The Fifth Year: Taking the Plunge (Hotch/Reid) PG
Title: Taking the Plunge
Rating: PG
Pairing: Hotch/Reid, hints of Rossi/Prentiss
WC: 1,554
Summary: Spencer and Aaron cope in the aftermath of Foyet.
Note: Thanks toresolucidity for the beta. Spoilers for "Slave to Duty".
Series: The Fifth Year - a series of Season Five episode tags
1. Not So Alone
2. Weeping Endures for a Night
3. The Blink of an Eye
4. Trust and Regret
5. Something Pretty Wonderful
6. Hope and Bourbon
7. Shaking Things Up
8. Cementing
9. Life Goes On
10. Reeling
11. About Last Friday
12. Past Motivations
Spencer hated leaving Aaron behind. He hated getting on the jet and flying to Nashville, knowing that the man he loved was cleaning the last traces of his life with Haley from the house they had shared. Despite what Emily had said about Haley being the past and Spencer the future, Spencer wouldn't have felt comfortable helping with that job. Dave and Emily had planned to be there with Aaron. Instead they were buckled into their seats and staring down at rose petals and dead girls.
It helped that none of them wanted to be there, but he could feel Emily seething next to him at the tone Morgan took when he said they needed to focus on the case. Spencer felt like seething himself. He liked Morgan, he really did, but he suspected this team might come apart if Aaron didn't return to take over the leadership.
He really hoped Aaron came back.
***
Aaron wasn't sure how he could feel this way. As he crouched down next to his son, watching the video Haley blowing kisses along with Jack, his chest felt caught in a vise. This was the woman he had loved more than half his life. They had laughed and loved, fought and made up. They'd created a child together. And in the end, they'd been living apart for over two years, unreconciled to each other.
She had cheated on him. She had been lonely and had gone outside of their marriage for companionship, for appreciation, perhaps even for physical pleasure. He'd never asked. He'd never wanted to know. He had still loved her, even if he knew he couldn't live up to her needs. He had never dreamed of cheating on her, but he had been aware of attractions that grew stronger once she left.
And now she was dead, and Aaron felt as if the feelings he had been nurturing for Spencer were somehow a betrayal...even as he longed for the comfort of Spencer's presence. He felt undeserving and ill-equipped to be Jack's father, and the thought of also being Spencer's lover threw him into a spin. He felt almost grateful that the team had been called away. Their concern for him had been supportive, but it had been stifling too, and having Spencer in another state out of necessity rather than choice gave Aaron some breathing room. So for now he focused on Jack and the task at hand.
Dave had offered him a more-than-generous price for the house; Aaron hadn't understood until Emily explained that Dave had owned the Galen house for twenty years, held in limbo until the rightful owners could take it back. Aaron didn't know if it was right to accept such charity from his friend, but Emily had also pointed out that Dave often felt most comfortable--most useful--helping with his checkbook.
Aaron had promised to think it over. He already knew he would say yes. He just wished his decision about his job were as easy.
***
Spencer's thoughts kept going back to Aaron, to the way he'd asked Spencer to walk alongside the pallbearers. Spencer had felt odd hobbling along next to the coffin, but he'd been glad Aaron had asked him for something. He'd been unable to offer all the support he wanted to, particularly since Chief Strauss had taken such a personal interest in Aaron's well-being.
Spencer knew Aaron thought Strauss was on their side, but he couldn't help resenting the woman. She'd tried to fire Aaron once, had tried to pit the team members against each other, and Spencer saw no reason to trust her now. When he'd said as much, Aaron had chuckled and said that he didn't trust her, but he also knew how to play her game.
Spencer had never been good at playing anyone's game.
***
A voice in the back of Aaron's head had urged him to accept the early retirement offer. You should be grateful for this. You can be a full-time dad for Jack. It should have sounded like Haley's voice, but for some reason it didn't. Maybe because she had learned the hard way that Aaron was FBI through and through. It was who he was, not what he did.
But how could he look Jack in the eyes if he didn't take the retirement? How could he face Jessica Brooks if he refused it? And yet he heard himself telling Chief Strauss he wanted to think about it.
Later, when Jessica urged him to stay with the Bureau, when she pointed out that his team still needed him, he felt a surge of relief and gratitude that told him instantly what his answer was going to be. It made him feel guilty, but that wouldn't change his answer.
***
Spencer sat across from Emily on the flight home. She wasn't talking to him, but then again she wasn't talking to anyone. She was withdrawn, staring out the window, earbuds in her ears and a book in front of her. To anyone else it would scream that she was unapproachable. Spencer, as the resident genius who obviously was no good at interpersonal communication, was always able to ignore things like that without the repercussions anyone else would have faced.
"Hey," he said quietly.
Emily flashed a dark look at him, and he could see her gauging whether to snap or not, and then deciding not to. He still found it amusing that she could think so highly of him and still underestimate him when it came to his relationship skills.
"Hi." Her voice wasn't encouraging, but he ignored it.
"Everything okay?"
"Everything's fine." Flat tone, flat look, everything about her told him to back off. Morgan had come back to the station and commented in an undertone that Emily practically lost it when they caught the unsub.
Spencer nodded and glanced down the length of the jet. Dave was watching him, his expression vaguely anxious. He was probably wondering if what Spencer said would make Emily impossible to deal with at home. Spencer looked down at the diamond that glittered on Emily's hand and nodded again.
"Good," he said abruptly, "because I need your help. I want to get something for Jack, but I don't know anything about kids. You have an instinct for that." The words were calculated to soften her up, and they worked like a charm.
She looked up at him again, her expression relaxing. Her lips curved very slightly and she glanced away, then said, "You ought to ask JJ."
Spencer shrugged.
After a moment, Emily said, "I'd get him a stuffed animal. Something soft and really squeezable." She paused, tilting her head thoughtfully. "When I was talking to Hotch at the funeral dinner, he said Jack was really into Winnie-the-Pooh these days."
That brought a smile to Spencer's lips. Maybe he was already having an impact on Jack. It was a nice thought.
"Really the best thing you can do is spend time with him," Emily said. "Presents are nice, but kids appreciate your time more than anything you buy them." She gave him a smile tinged with sadness. "At least, I always wanted that."
He nodded slowly. "Thanks, Emily." He touched her wrist, then stood up and made his way to the kitchenette. He needed some caffeine.
***
Aaron recognized the slow steps without even turning around. He kept pushing Jack in the swing, enjoying his son's laughter and wondering what to say to Spencer when he got to them.
"Dave said you're staying," Spencer said quietly.
Aaron looked over at him, wondering if Dave had called as soon as he left the cemetery, or if he'd told Spencer that before even coming after Aaron. "I am," he replied.
"Jessica said I could find you here."
Aaron nodded.
Spencer was quiet for a moment. Jack jumped off his swing and landed sprawling in the sand of the playground. Before Aaron could reach him, Jack jumped up and ran for the slide. Aaron watched him go and sighed. He'd been nervous the first half-dozen times Jack had climbed the ladder, but it was obvious his son knew what he was doing.
"I don't want to get in the way," Spencer said. Aaron caught his breath and turned to protest, then he saw that Spencer wasn't finished. "But what we have is good, Aaron. You and I both need it. And I think it could be good for Jack too."
Aaron swallowed, humbled that Spencer cared about him and his son.
"I hope you'll let me stay in your life."
Spencer had been gaining confidence lately. Aaron hadn't been the only one to notice it, but he was glad to think it might have something to do with their relationship. He'd always believed in Spencer, and it was so good to see Spencer believing in himself.
After a moment Aaron cleared his throat and reached out to take Spencer's hand. "I wouldn't have it any other way." His voice was rough with emotion.
"Daddy! Spesser! Look at me!" Jack was at the top of the slide, waving at them. When he saw them both turn to watch, he took the plunge, shrieking all the way down the slide. Beside him, Aaron heard Spencer laugh. Aaron squeezed Spencer's hand and went to collect his son.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Hotch/Reid, hints of Rossi/Prentiss
WC: 1,554
Summary: Spencer and Aaron cope in the aftermath of Foyet.
Note: Thanks to
resolucidity for the beta. Spoilers for "Slave to Duty".Series: The Fifth Year - a series of Season Five episode tags
1. Not So Alone
2. Weeping Endures for a Night
3. The Blink of an Eye
4. Trust and Regret
5. Something Pretty Wonderful
6. Hope and Bourbon
7. Shaking Things Up
8. Cementing
9. Life Goes On
10. Reeling
11. About Last Friday
12. Past Motivations
Spencer hated leaving Aaron behind. He hated getting on the jet and flying to Nashville, knowing that the man he loved was cleaning the last traces of his life with Haley from the house they had shared. Despite what Emily had said about Haley being the past and Spencer the future, Spencer wouldn't have felt comfortable helping with that job. Dave and Emily had planned to be there with Aaron. Instead they were buckled into their seats and staring down at rose petals and dead girls.
It helped that none of them wanted to be there, but he could feel Emily seething next to him at the tone Morgan took when he said they needed to focus on the case. Spencer felt like seething himself. He liked Morgan, he really did, but he suspected this team might come apart if Aaron didn't return to take over the leadership.
He really hoped Aaron came back.
***
Aaron wasn't sure how he could feel this way. As he crouched down next to his son, watching the video Haley blowing kisses along with Jack, his chest felt caught in a vise. This was the woman he had loved more than half his life. They had laughed and loved, fought and made up. They'd created a child together. And in the end, they'd been living apart for over two years, unreconciled to each other.
She had cheated on him. She had been lonely and had gone outside of their marriage for companionship, for appreciation, perhaps even for physical pleasure. He'd never asked. He'd never wanted to know. He had still loved her, even if he knew he couldn't live up to her needs. He had never dreamed of cheating on her, but he had been aware of attractions that grew stronger once she left.
And now she was dead, and Aaron felt as if the feelings he had been nurturing for Spencer were somehow a betrayal...even as he longed for the comfort of Spencer's presence. He felt undeserving and ill-equipped to be Jack's father, and the thought of also being Spencer's lover threw him into a spin. He felt almost grateful that the team had been called away. Their concern for him had been supportive, but it had been stifling too, and having Spencer in another state out of necessity rather than choice gave Aaron some breathing room. So for now he focused on Jack and the task at hand.
Dave had offered him a more-than-generous price for the house; Aaron hadn't understood until Emily explained that Dave had owned the Galen house for twenty years, held in limbo until the rightful owners could take it back. Aaron didn't know if it was right to accept such charity from his friend, but Emily had also pointed out that Dave often felt most comfortable--most useful--helping with his checkbook.
Aaron had promised to think it over. He already knew he would say yes. He just wished his decision about his job were as easy.
***
Spencer's thoughts kept going back to Aaron, to the way he'd asked Spencer to walk alongside the pallbearers. Spencer had felt odd hobbling along next to the coffin, but he'd been glad Aaron had asked him for something. He'd been unable to offer all the support he wanted to, particularly since Chief Strauss had taken such a personal interest in Aaron's well-being.
Spencer knew Aaron thought Strauss was on their side, but he couldn't help resenting the woman. She'd tried to fire Aaron once, had tried to pit the team members against each other, and Spencer saw no reason to trust her now. When he'd said as much, Aaron had chuckled and said that he didn't trust her, but he also knew how to play her game.
Spencer had never been good at playing anyone's game.
***
A voice in the back of Aaron's head had urged him to accept the early retirement offer. You should be grateful for this. You can be a full-time dad for Jack. It should have sounded like Haley's voice, but for some reason it didn't. Maybe because she had learned the hard way that Aaron was FBI through and through. It was who he was, not what he did.
But how could he look Jack in the eyes if he didn't take the retirement? How could he face Jessica Brooks if he refused it? And yet he heard himself telling Chief Strauss he wanted to think about it.
Later, when Jessica urged him to stay with the Bureau, when she pointed out that his team still needed him, he felt a surge of relief and gratitude that told him instantly what his answer was going to be. It made him feel guilty, but that wouldn't change his answer.
***
Spencer sat across from Emily on the flight home. She wasn't talking to him, but then again she wasn't talking to anyone. She was withdrawn, staring out the window, earbuds in her ears and a book in front of her. To anyone else it would scream that she was unapproachable. Spencer, as the resident genius who obviously was no good at interpersonal communication, was always able to ignore things like that without the repercussions anyone else would have faced.
"Hey," he said quietly.
Emily flashed a dark look at him, and he could see her gauging whether to snap or not, and then deciding not to. He still found it amusing that she could think so highly of him and still underestimate him when it came to his relationship skills.
"Hi." Her voice wasn't encouraging, but he ignored it.
"Everything okay?"
"Everything's fine." Flat tone, flat look, everything about her told him to back off. Morgan had come back to the station and commented in an undertone that Emily practically lost it when they caught the unsub.
Spencer nodded and glanced down the length of the jet. Dave was watching him, his expression vaguely anxious. He was probably wondering if what Spencer said would make Emily impossible to deal with at home. Spencer looked down at the diamond that glittered on Emily's hand and nodded again.
"Good," he said abruptly, "because I need your help. I want to get something for Jack, but I don't know anything about kids. You have an instinct for that." The words were calculated to soften her up, and they worked like a charm.
She looked up at him again, her expression relaxing. Her lips curved very slightly and she glanced away, then said, "You ought to ask JJ."
Spencer shrugged.
After a moment, Emily said, "I'd get him a stuffed animal. Something soft and really squeezable." She paused, tilting her head thoughtfully. "When I was talking to Hotch at the funeral dinner, he said Jack was really into Winnie-the-Pooh these days."
That brought a smile to Spencer's lips. Maybe he was already having an impact on Jack. It was a nice thought.
"Really the best thing you can do is spend time with him," Emily said. "Presents are nice, but kids appreciate your time more than anything you buy them." She gave him a smile tinged with sadness. "At least, I always wanted that."
He nodded slowly. "Thanks, Emily." He touched her wrist, then stood up and made his way to the kitchenette. He needed some caffeine.
***
Aaron recognized the slow steps without even turning around. He kept pushing Jack in the swing, enjoying his son's laughter and wondering what to say to Spencer when he got to them.
"Dave said you're staying," Spencer said quietly.
Aaron looked over at him, wondering if Dave had called as soon as he left the cemetery, or if he'd told Spencer that before even coming after Aaron. "I am," he replied.
"Jessica said I could find you here."
Aaron nodded.
Spencer was quiet for a moment. Jack jumped off his swing and landed sprawling in the sand of the playground. Before Aaron could reach him, Jack jumped up and ran for the slide. Aaron watched him go and sighed. He'd been nervous the first half-dozen times Jack had climbed the ladder, but it was obvious his son knew what he was doing.
"I don't want to get in the way," Spencer said. Aaron caught his breath and turned to protest, then he saw that Spencer wasn't finished. "But what we have is good, Aaron. You and I both need it. And I think it could be good for Jack too."
Aaron swallowed, humbled that Spencer cared about him and his son.
"I hope you'll let me stay in your life."
Spencer had been gaining confidence lately. Aaron hadn't been the only one to notice it, but he was glad to think it might have something to do with their relationship. He'd always believed in Spencer, and it was so good to see Spencer believing in himself.
After a moment Aaron cleared his throat and reached out to take Spencer's hand. "I wouldn't have it any other way." His voice was rough with emotion.
"Daddy! Spesser! Look at me!" Jack was at the top of the slide, waving at them. When he saw them both turn to watch, he took the plunge, shrieking all the way down the slide. Beside him, Aaron heard Spencer laugh. Aaron squeezed Spencer's hand and went to collect his son.