Spiders and Panic
Sep. 18th, 2007 08:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
innerslytherinWell I've already had a bad morning. I got up and started gathering my clothes to get in the shower, and couldn't find my trousers. WTF? I know Mom washed them with her load of khakis! I remember putting them in, but they weren't in the laundry basket. I get frustrated and burst into tears while hunting for the elusive clothing. So finally I grab my light tan khakis instead and get in the shower, telling myself to calm down. After the shower I decide to check one other place, and there they are. The laundry wasn't Friday night, it was Thursday night, and I'd worn the trousers one day. *headdesk*
By this time I have realised that it's obviously time to start taking the Lexapro again. (Yes, I know I shouldn't self-medicate. But I am broke and can't afford to spend $80 a month on antidepressants when I can function normally for long periods of time without them. I still have three weeks' worth of the free samples I got the last time I was at the doctor's office, so I grabbed one of those packets, heated some Pop Tarts, and head out the door.
Get in my car and am immediately covered in spiderweb. So I jump out of the car, having a major panic-inspired meltdown. Seriously, after waking up with a headache and cough, cutting myself on the laundry basket while looking for my trousers, and then the entire frustration-inspired crying jag, I can NOT handle a spider in my car.
Yes, I know spiders are tiny and can't, for the most part, hurt me. Yes, I know that black widows and brown recluse don't often hang out in cars in Indiana. My fear of spiders is not a rational fear, and I don't care. The only reason I didn't call in to work to avoid spending 15 miles in a spider-infested car is that I had no idea what to say. "Hi, I can't come in because I am afraid of a spider." "Hi, I can't come in because I'm being held hostage." "Hi. I have just had a panic-inspired heart-attack, so I'm going back to bed."
It did get a little better on the way in. I had a school bus driver actually wave me around her to pass after she got a kid on the bus.
But of course I get to work and the construction is still going on very loudly, and on top of that I have two people having a loud conversation at the mailboxes, which are right outside my cubicle. And the headache hasn't gone away. But I do have 20 mg of Lexapro in me, so maybe in a couple of days I'll be feeling better. Still, all I want to do is crawl back into bed under several blankets and get warm.
Now I'm going to intersperse work with fanfic so I look busy until the mail gets here.
By this time I have realised that it's obviously time to start taking the Lexapro again. (Yes, I know I shouldn't self-medicate. But I am broke and can't afford to spend $80 a month on antidepressants when I can function normally for long periods of time without them. I still have three weeks' worth of the free samples I got the last time I was at the doctor's office, so I grabbed one of those packets, heated some Pop Tarts, and head out the door.
Get in my car and am immediately covered in spiderweb. So I jump out of the car, having a major panic-inspired meltdown. Seriously, after waking up with a headache and cough, cutting myself on the laundry basket while looking for my trousers, and then the entire frustration-inspired crying jag, I can NOT handle a spider in my car.
Yes, I know spiders are tiny and can't, for the most part, hurt me. Yes, I know that black widows and brown recluse don't often hang out in cars in Indiana. My fear of spiders is not a rational fear, and I don't care. The only reason I didn't call in to work to avoid spending 15 miles in a spider-infested car is that I had no idea what to say. "Hi, I can't come in because I am afraid of a spider." "Hi, I can't come in because I'm being held hostage." "Hi. I have just had a panic-inspired heart-attack, so I'm going back to bed."
It did get a little better on the way in. I had a school bus driver actually wave me around her to pass after she got a kid on the bus.
But of course I get to work and the construction is still going on very loudly, and on top of that I have two people having a loud conversation at the mailboxes, which are right outside my cubicle. And the headache hasn't gone away. But I do have 20 mg of Lexapro in me, so maybe in a couple of days I'll be feeling better. Still, all I want to do is crawl back into bed under several blankets and get warm.
Now I'm going to intersperse work with fanfic so I look busy until the mail gets here.
